


Dear Happy

by Lexebug



Category: Homestuck, MS Paint Adventures
Genre: Canon-Typical Violence, Character Death, Dream Bubbles, F/M, Flashbacks, Pale Romance | Moirallegiance, Platonic Cuddling
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-04
Updated: 2018-01-04
Packaged: 2019-02-28 07:37:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,137
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13266768
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lexebug/pseuds/Lexebug
Summary: Nepeta missed her diamond.*The warnings are for a semi-graphic description in a flashback, and for the fact that almost every character mentioned in this is already dead*





	Dear Happy

**Author's Note:**

> Song is based on Dear Happy by Dodie!

_I missed you dearly_  
Nepeta pulled herself off the ground; Feferi was nowhere to be found. Her face was scraped, olive dripping down her cheeks; tears or blood, she couldn’t tell, they all felt the same. She sat up, wiping at her eyes with two finger tips, smearing green across them. 

_Thought I was nearly there, forever, at last, together_  
The memories flooded back, and it took all her strength to keep herself from collapsing again. Equius, or Arquiussprite as he’d been then, Equius in the wrong color and those god-awful shades. The little voice next to his, different inflection, angry and vindictive. And the emotions on her Feferi side were even worse; Sollux, her matesprit, trying to pull her back, trying to get ahold of her. Nepeta could feel it still, feel the ache in her heart, the near-irresistible pull. And Eridan; god, Eridan. So, so pale, violently so, and it made Nepeta cringe to think she’d ever felt that, even if it wasn’t technically her emotions. But also? Angry. Scared. Terrified, really. Feferi was scared of him. If Nepeta had let him get any closer, Feferi would have exploded on her own. She had done her best to pull apart, pull the connection to threads, before-

Well, now. Now she didn’t know where she was. Where did you go when you stopped existing on the same plane of existence as others? Something cracked above her, and she looked up to see the sky, in bright, colorful fragments, splintering. Like Equius had punched it. She smiled softly, and struggled to her feet, nearly tripping over the tail pinned to her jacket. She had to at least try and find out where she was.

 _Is our time fleeting? Is even meeting a healthy idea, or am I getting too near?_  
Nepeta walked slowly across the landscape, watching as the emptiness around her transitioned into a familiar landscape; her own home. The forest path was familiar under her paws, and she batted absently at a passing beetle in the air. Maybe, if she just closed her eyes and kept walking, she’d find out she was home, really home, and get to hug Pounce and update her wall, everything she would normally do. She could forget about everything that had happened. But when she got to her door, there was no sign of Pounce inside; there was, however, rustling coming from her respiteblock. Nepeta readied herself, pulling out her claws and stalking forward, slowly. Someone emerged, someone in an indigo god tier outfit, dark blue wings brushing against Nepeta’s things. She stared at him, at the familiar cracked glasses, and fell to her knees. “Equius?” She breathed, not believing it. How was he here?

 _But don’t try to fight it, you’re here for tonight_  
Equius stepped forward, one hand stretched out, questioningly. “Nepeta?” he asked, voice raspy and familiar, and he pulled the glasses off his face, blinking at her. His eyes were white, with just a shadow of a gray pupil, but they were Equius’s eyes, shadowed with blue, crow’s feet crinkling in the corners. “Equius!” She cried, pushing herself off the ground and falling into his arms. “Equius, where are we? Why are you here? I missed you, I missed you so much-” He interrupted her with a shoosh and a soft pap on her head, right between her horns. 

“Nepeta, I can explain everything later. Here, this is your memory, so that’s why we’re in your hive. Do you want to go in the pile? Talk… whatever happened in your timeline out?” Nepeta started behind him, at the fluttering gossamer of his wings, sparkling gently. She nodded silently, and Equius led her with a gentle hand at her back (when did Equius learn to be gentle, to not break anything he touched?) to the pile of animal furs, and Nepeta sank into it gratefully, immersing herself in the familiar smell of home. Warm, foresty, just a little bit of dust, a hint of the coppery scent of blood. There was a teetering stack of clean, white towels next to the pile, neatly folded. She curled her upper body around Equius’s, and he carefully stroked a hand through her hair, pausing to rub at her horns, calmingly. Still as pale as he always was. In the safety of her hive again, pillowed against her moirail, Nepeta made herself remember.

 _And I’ll be waiting for you, until we meet again._  
Equius, barely seven sweeps, collapsing to his knees, an arrow sinking through his knee. The string around his neck, the shaky grin on his face, the sharp-toothed smile on Gamzee’s face. The way he hit the ground, hard, indigo sputtering out of his mouth and dripping onto the floor from the clean cut around his neck. Pouncing from the vents, a terrifyingly strong hand on her wrist, her beautiful blue claws dragged through smeared paint, leaving bright violet trails in their wake. Clubs, in those same hands stained with blood, coming for her. 

There was nothing, for quite a while. Until suddenly, there was everything, back to her mind. The sky shining in a rainbow over her head, someone’s face very close to her’s. Neatly applied face paint, half-lidded eyes, and a trio of faded scars. She had scrambled backwards, as much as she could scramble, considering she was missing legs, which was kind of a startling revelation. But not fast enough, because Gamzee chucked something… at her? Into her? It was kind of blurry. Until she joined in.

Feferi’s emotions confused everything a lot more. Terrifying at first, when Nepeta couldn’t feel herself for all the loud screaming coming from Feferi’s side. A fin fluttered on her- their face, their shared face now, and slowly, Nepeta tried to calm herself and Feferi down. It worked. They didn’t explode, not for a while.

A face, close to theirs, smiling widely, pink eyes wide and excited, dark skin painted in a beautiful array of colors. Behind her, another face, a novelty mustache attached to a headset. They were both smiling, and Fefeta smiled back. Those people were nicer. The orange and green one made Fefeta nervous, but Roxy loved both of them, so Feferi and Nepeta tolerated them. 

Then, Not-Equius and almost-Eridan and Sollux, pulling at their souls like a tug-of-war. The explosion. 

Nepeta was curled into Equius, his wings encircling her, framing her in shimmering blue gossamer. Tears dripped onto the Void symbol on his tunic, and he shushed her soothingly, rubbing a hand up and down her back, trying to calm the shaking in her shoulders. It worked, eventually, and Nepeta fell asleep, cradled in his arms. Equius dreaded the day their bubbles would drift apart. But for now, he simply sat and held his diamond, letting her rest. She deserved it, after the life she’d had.


End file.
